Friendship in the Dark
by aylathetitan
Summary: There are two kinds of darkness: the absence of light and the absence of happiness. One is more easily cured than the other. WARNING: attempted suicide. Starts out kinda sad but then turns to the fluffier side.
1. The Edge

**This is set after Trouble in Tokyo. Enjoy!**

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In the early hours of the morning, in the middle of a sleepy bay, was a dark and quiet tower. This tower was the home of the Teen Titans, a young group of superheroes who looked over the nearby city and kept it safe from those who would do it harm. However, being superheroes didn't mean that they had escaped the problems of civilian life. These were teenagers after all, and teenagers tend to have problems of their own, even if they're responsible for a city.

On this night, the outwardly confident and optimistic leader of the Titans, Robin, was having intense problems. Behind his mask of confidence and optimism, Robin struggled with depression. It was hard leading a team of rowdy teenagers, and if he were to be honest with himself, he had no idea what he was doing. He messed up a lot, as everyone does, and sometimes he felt very, very low about himself.

Tonight something had finally cracked. He had failed again to catch Red X, and the anti-hero had made off with ten pounds of Xenothium. Being as dangerous as Xenothium was, ten pounds could vaporize everything in a thousand mile radius, and Robin felt completely responsible. Bad enough that he was the one to have created Red X, but the fact that he couldn't even catch his own creation was very upsetting. Red X probably wouldn't cause an accident with the Xenothium – he certainly had had enough experience with the stuff by now – but Robin couldn't help imagining what would happen if something were to go wrong at Red X's hideout. Robin knew that he was completely responsible for anything that happened with Red X, and the pain and hatred he felt for himself burned him inside, demanding to be felt.

The incident that day was not any worse than any other loss against an amateur villain, but emotions being what they are, that didn't matter. Piled on top of everything else that had gone wrong in Robin's life, it was just too much.

Carefully, Robin peeled off his eye mask. Behind it, his blue eyes shone with self-loathing and bitterness. It was a shame, because his eyes were known to be described as a beautiful summer's day sky, and they did not deserve to wield such pain.

A single tear rolled down his cheek as Robin stood atop the roof of his home, looking down at the jagged rocks of the island below. They looked like teeth in the pale moonlight, ready to swallow the Boy Wonder and all of his sadness. Robin had picked this way to go because it reminded him of the night his parents died. That night was the night that his life began to slowly unravel and spiral into the horribleness that he felt right now. In his pain, he was unable to see that in those years, he may have made mistakes, but he also helped countless people. Those years were no waste.

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Starfire lay awake in her bed. She turned to look at the clock and groaned. Two o'clock in the morning. She had been trying to fall asleep for four hours now and her efforts seemed in vain. She climbed out of bed slowly, as to not wake the sleeping Silkie at the foot of her bed, and headed up to the roof. Maybe a little stargazing would help ease her into slumber.

She was surprised to see Robin standing at the edge of the tower, looking down. Normally when she joined him on the roof he would hear the door open and turn around to smile at her, but tonight he seemed lost in his thoughts. She was about to call out to him when he took off his utility belt and jumped from the tower towards the island below.

Starfire went into panic mode. She ran off the building, following Robin in his decent. Then, using her power of flight, she caught up with Robin and scooped him up by the waist. A gasp escaped his mouth as something hard broke his fall and he felt himself being pulled upwards. He looked up to see Starfire with and intense look of determination on her face. In a spit second he realized that his girlfriend must have seen him and thought he was in trouble.

As soon as she set him down, he scurried back over to the edge of the tower and put his hands on the ledge, preparing to spring himself off the tower again. He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes and tell her what he planned to do that night. He didn't have to, anyway. He had left a note in his room for the others to find once he was gone, and that would explain everything. He couldn't back out now. He wouldn't. But as soon as he sprung off the ledge again, Starfire grabbed his legs, pulling him back onto the roof and into her arms. Robin struggled to get free, still avoiding eye contact with the beautiful princess.

Starfire felt herself choking up. She didn't know why Robin was acting this way, but she understood now what he was trying to do. As he struggled to free himself from her embrace, she whispered, "Robin… _no_." She could feel that she was close to tears. Apparently Robin heard it in her voice, because his struggling stopped and finally, he looked up to see the woman who had saved his life.

"Starfire…." He was at a loss for words. His beautiful girlfriend looked so lost. He knew that she understood what his intentions were, and he could tell that it hurt. He had been sure that the team would be relieved at his departure – one less mistake to take care of – but he could tell that Star didn't see it that way.

They just sat there for a minute, looking into each other's eyes, unsure of what would happen next. Finally, Robin spoke.

"Star, you have to let me go." He dropped his gaze.

"Why? Robin, why do you feel so strongly about this? What is wrong?"

"Everything's wrong!" Robin growled, pounding his fist on the floor, "This…. everything's just messed up, okay? My life's a mess. I'm a mess!" He squeezed his eyes shut and felt his lower lip quiver. "Please, you have to let me go. It'll be better for everyone."

"No…." Starfire whimpered. She was crying now. They were both crying. "Robin, why would you say that? You are our leader! We need you!"

"No. You don't. All I ever do is mess up, Star! Ever since the beginning. With Slade, with Red X, with the Brotherhood, everything! All I ever do is put you guys in danger. I take us down the wrong path and someone gets hurt. I need to stop endangering the people I care about." He took in a shaky breath and wiped his eyes.

Starfire was speechless. How long had Robin, who she cared for so deeply, been keeping this from her? She had believed that she knew everything about her boyfriend. He had even trusted her with seeing his eyes. But apparently there was much more the Boy Wonder than she had ever realized.

"Robin… we all make mistakes. And besides, you fix your mistakes. When Slade injected us with his probes, you were the one who risked your life to make things right. When we faced the Brotherhood, you were the one who prevented them from tracking us by destroying our communicators. You are a hero, Robin!" and after a second's thought, she added, "You are _my_ hero."

"R-really?" Robin looked up at Starfire with wide, imploring eyes. "Why?"

Starfire smiled despite herself. "Need I answer, dearest Robin? You are my boat-anchor to this world. Without your help and companionship, I would be lost. You help me when I am the 'down.' It seems only right that I should return that favor to you now, does it not?"

Robin gave a small smile. He still did not feel completely at peace with himself, but Starfire always had this effect on him. She could take his hurricane and make it a light drizzle. He rest his head on her shoulder, relaxing a little.

"Robin, do you feel…. _this way_…. often?"

"Y-yes, Starfire," he said weakly, "I do."

And he cried. He cried long and hard into her shoulder – his rock, his anchor – and told her about all the nights he stayed up worrying that one day he would go too far and kill someone, and how many days he spent stressing over a mistake he had made in battle that could've resulted in a disaster. How some times he felt completely useless. He cried, and she cried with him, because she also doubted herself sometimes. She told him how hard she tried to be more normal, and how out of place she felt most of the time.

And then it was done. They sat, holding each other in comfortable silence, until they heard the door to the roof open and close. The two turned their heads to see who else could possibly be up at this hour. It was Raven.

"Raven!" Robin called, "What are _you _doing up here?"

Raven rubbed her eyes and let out a small yawn, "I woke up to a pain in my head. I knew someone must be upset, and I could tell they were on the roof. Was I _not_ supposed to investigate?" she crossed her arms.

"Oh," Robin said, "Sorry for waking you. But thanks for, well, you know." He shrugged.

"Yea," Raven mused, "So, mind telling me what emotion was so strong that it woke me up in the middle of the night?"

Robin and Starfire looked at each other, and then back at Raven. Hesitantly, Robin told Raven what had happened, and Starfire chimed in from time to time to add things that Robin had conveniently forgotten to mention, like the fact that she had caught him attempting suicide, and that they hadn't just come up to talk. When they were done, Raven looked the couple over, furrowing her brow. Then in an act completely against her character, she walked over, knelt down, and gave both of them tight hug. Robin looked over at Starfire with a raised eyebrow as if to say "Ok. What happened to the _real_ Raven?" Raven caught the surprised feeling off her friends and explained, "You two helped me a lot when I was having problems like that. You're good people. Both of you. You deserve to feel good about yourself. Got it?" She put an air of finality in her voice that made her hard to deny. When neither Titan in question responded, she looked at them both pointedly, as if to say, "If you don't agree with me, I will send you to another dimension." Robin and Starfire nodded slowly. "Good," Raven said, putting out of the hug, "Now, it's cold out here. We should get inside."

"I am not very tired, Friend Raven," Starfire said, realizing that in her efforts to get some sleep she had actually woken herself up more, "perhaps we could do the 'hanging out' for a while?" She looked from one Titan to the other, hoping she would not be shot down.

"Sure, Star," Robin said, smiling a little and putting a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not very tired. Are you, Raven?"

Raven sighed, trying to appear apathetic, "I guess a couple hours less of sleep wouldn't kill me."

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**Woke up this morning with a sudden urge to write this story. The second (and probably final) chapter to this one will be up later this week, most likely Thursday. The next chapter is going to be fluffier. They're gonna hang out and comfort each other. Stay tuned!**

**-Juli**


	2. Cookie Dough: a worthy enemy

"_I am not very tired, Friend Raven," Starfire said, realizing that in her efforts to get some sleep she had actually woken herself up more, "perhaps we could do the 'hanging out' for a while?" She looked from one Titan to the other, hoping she would not be shot down._

"_Sure, Star," Robin said, smiling a little and putting a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not very tired. Are you, Raven?"_

_Raven sighed, trying to appear apathetic, "I guess a couple hours less of sleep wouldn't kill me."_

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The three Titans walked in from the roof, hanging close together. After all, it's hard to have such an intimate experience with each others' emotions and not feel a closer sense of friendship. Starfire noted this as she walked down the long, dark hallway with her hand in Robin's and Raven close by. Ever since her time with the Gordanians, Starfire had had a fear of the dark. It was hard for her to walk down the halls of the tower at night because they reminded her of the dark, echo-y chambers that she was imprisoned and beaten in. But now, with Robin and Raven on either side of her, she felt like she could brave her fear and make it all the way down to the ops room.

Robin heard his girlfriend take a deep breath as they got farther away from the door to the roof. He looked over to see her shadow stiff and rigid, which was unusual for the bubbly alien by all accounts. Although unsure what had brought on the sudden shift in her personality, he gave her hand a little squeeze. She jumped a little at the squeeze, but then looked over at the spiky headed shape that she knew was Robin. He smiled at her, then reached over and pecked her lightly on the lips. Star seemed to relax a little, and sunk into the side of her boyfriend. Raven, witnessing this, smiled and tried to pretend that she hadn't noticed.

TTTTT

When the Titans reached the ops room, they met a small problem. It was true that they had all agreed to stay up a little while longer and "do the hanging out", as Starfire called it, they now realized that they didn't really know what to _do_. It was neither in Robin or Raven's habits to hang out in the middle of the night with no plans, and Starfire, with her lack of knowledge about Earth culture, didn't have any ideas either. And so the three friends found themselves sitting on the big green couch in the middle of the room and staring out at the black water with nothing to say to each other.

Robin was mentally hitting himself for attempting suicide. He had been so clouded by his emotions that he hadn't even stopped to think about Starfire's needs. He should've known that she relied on him to be her source of Earthly knowledge. He should've known how hurt she'd be to see him go that way. How could he have been so selfish?

Yes, Robin had made a fast recovery from suicidal thoughts. But that didn't change how he thought of himself. Now that it was all over, he felt an overwhelming need to apologize to Starfire for what she had seen. And so it was Robin who finally broke the silence.

"Star?"

Both Raven and Starfire's eyes were on him immediately. His voice was dark and quiet.

"Yes, Robin?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" (Though she already knew.)

"For…. You know…. Having to see that. On the roof."

"Robin…." Starfire put her hand over his, "It is true that I am saddened that you tried to… do what you tried to do. But I am not sorry that I saw that. I want to _know_ you, Robin. You know that. The goodness with the badness." Star tried to look into Robin's eyes, which were downcast and looking at his knees. Robin gave a small grimace. This wasn't the first time that Starfire had expressed her want to know more about him, and he had promised that he would. He kept telling himself that he would tell her everything, but he chickened out whenever he tried.

Raven rolled her eyes and got up from the couch. Sometimes she really _hated_ being an empath. She could feel the regret roll off of Robin like a tidal wave, and it was just too much to handle. She decided she would get a cup of tea. There was something about that drink that calmed her and made it easier to ignore the feelings of other people.

When she got to the pantry, though, there was no tea. She glared at the empty space in distrust, sure that Beast Boy must've hid it somewhere just for the sake of annoying her. She started digging through the pantry, turning over everything to find it, and ended up bumping into a box of chocolate chip cookie dough instead. When had they bought cookie dough?

She wasn't sure why they had the cookie mix, but it struck her as the perfect thing to soothe her friends' emotions. She picked up the box. "Hey, um…."

Both Robin and Starfire's attentions turned to her. She shifted her weight nervously. "I know this is gonna sound really weird, but… I was wondering if you wanted to…. Make some cookies?" She held up the box and tried for a smile.

"Uh…" Robin blinked and looked at Starfire, who had an equally confused look on her face, "sure?"

He and Starfire got up from the couch and followed Raven into the kitchenette, where she was trying to find a bowl to mix the ingredients in. Starfire, noticing that Raven obviously had no idea where anything in the kitchen was except for the tea, went to help her while Robin picked up the box and collected the ingredients needed to make the cookies. When everything was ready, Starfire eagerly ripped open the box (and the bag of cookie mix inside) and the contents poured into the bowl.

Just as Raven, Starfire, and Robin were not the kind of people to hang out in the middle of the night, they were also not the kind of people to bake cookies. Which meant that as soon as something could go wrong, it did.

It was Starfire's turn to stir, and her hands were slippery from cracking the eggs into the batter earlier. The mixer slipped in her hands and splattered everything around it in cookie dough. Star fought to keep the mixer down at the bottom of the bowl like Robin had said to, but the more she grabbed at it, the slipperier the mixer got. Before they could get the mixer under control, a quarter of the batter had been spewed all over the kitchenette and the three Titans. Starfire set the mixer down in relief, sprawling over the counter to rest. It occurred to her how strange this must look, and she started to giggle.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Star?" he asked," What're you doing?"

"It is just –" Starfire stood up straight and looked at Robin. She stopped. The sight of the Boy Wonder was interesting, to say the least. He was covered in cookie dough and chocolate chips, his mask was still off, and his hair was all over the place from falling off the tower. Starfire burst into laughter again, leaning on Robin's chest for support.

Starfire was one of those people whose laugh was contagious. When she started laughing – like, full out, I'm-clutching-my-stomach-because-I-can't-breathe laughing – you laughed, no matter who you were or how you felt at the time. So when Starfire laughed, Robin laughed. And Raven couldn't help but chuckle. Their laughter grew until they were down on the floor, rolling around and smearing the cookie batter everywhere. When they finally calmed down, Robin sat up and kissed Star on the forehead.

"You're cute. You know that, right?" Robin smirked at her.

Starfire beamed and kissed him full on the mouth. He tasted like chocolate and sweetness. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips harder against his. He responded by running his fingers through her hair and snaking his other arm around her waist. They tipped to the side, falling on the floor again, and deepened the kiss.

Raven smiled, then caught herself. Was she really smiling at a mushy couple? Raven never smiled at mushy couples. In fact, they usually disgusted her! But something about tonight was different than most. Maybe it was because she had bonded so much with Robin and Star. Maybe she wanted them to be happy so badly that she found herself dinking in their emotions more. Or maybe she was finally recovering from her own demons.

Still smiling, Raven got up and finished mixing the batter, rolling the batter into balls, and putting the balls on the tray. When she looked down, Starfire and Robin were _still_ making out on the floor. Raven decided that enough was enough, even if they were cute. She kicked them lightly.

"Alright, you two. Time to get up. I have to put the cookies in the oven and you're in my way."

Robin and Star looked up at Raven and untangled themselves. Raven noted that they were blushing furiously, smiling like idiots, and avoiding eye contact with each other. Raven wondered if that's what love did to a person. She wondered if she would ever find out.

When the cookies were in the oven, Robin looked around the kitchenette, which was still covered in cookie dough. "So… we should probably clean up our mess now."

Starfire sighed. Despite her bubbly disposition, Starfire had always despised cleaning. _Especially_ on this scale. "I suppose you are correct."

"I'll get the scrub brushes," Raven drawled, and floated off towards the broom closet.

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**Hey look, chapter two!**

**How'd I do? It was kinda hard writing this because I've never done anything quite like this before, and I've never kissed or been kissed, so that part was particularly hard. I think it's ok though. I hope. ^_^**

**So yep, this isn't going to be the last chapter like I thought it was gonna. I don't know how long it's gonna be anymore. I'm just deciding things as I write. Like the title. I changed it cause it didn't sit right with me. I don't know why, it just didn't.**

**Next up: **_**bubble battle!**_

**-Juli**


	3. Bubble Battle

_When the cookies were in the oven, Robin looked around the kitchenette, which was still covered in cookie dough. "So… we should probably clean up our mess now."_

_ Starfire sighed. Despite her bubbly disposition, Starfire had always despised cleaning. Especially on this scale. "I suppose you are correct."_

_ "I'll get the scrub brushes," Raven drawled, and floated off towards the broom closet._

TTTTT

Robin dunked his rag into the soapy water and continued scrubbing at the cookie batter on the fridge. Above him, Star was tending to the ceiling (apparently cookie dough could go far when it wanted to), and behind him Raven cleaned the island across from the oven.

Robin grumbled to himself while he worked. They'd let the cookie batter sit too long where it had splattered, and it had started to solidify, which made it hard to get off in some places. Still, he couldn't complain too much. He'd never admit it to Cyborg and Beast Boy, but making those cookies had been pretty fun. Making the mess had even been fun! It was the clean up that was hard.

He felt something wet and bubbly plop onto his forehead. He looked up and saw what had hit him. Starfire's rag was dripping, and some of it had fallen on him. The next time the cloth dropped, Star realized what was happening. She gave a little gasp and looked below her and noticed that Robin's hair was white with soap bubbles. She blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh Robin!" she yelped, "I fear I have gotten the bubbles in your hair!"

Robin looked up at her and smiled. "It's ok, Star. I don't mind." Star drooped her head, obviously still embarrassed. Robin got a great – no, _evil_ – idea in his head. "Want a hug?" he asked Star, holding out his arms.

Star smiled weakly and flew down to him and into his arms. Robin grinned and scooped some soap bubbles from his bucket into his hand. He then brought his hand up to Star's face in a supposedly comforting gesture, smearing the bubbles all over her face. Star gasped and pulled away from the hug, touching her hand to her cheek. She looked up at him with big, imploring eyes that were glistening with tears. "Robin…" she sniffed, "Why would you do that?"

Robin felt a sudden pang of guilt. He hadn't thought Star would be so hurt by having bubbles on her face. "I'm sorry Star," he apologized, "I was just trying to have fun. Here, I'll get it off." He approached her with a dry towel and lifted it towards her cheek.

Now it was Starfire's turn to grin. When Robin got close enough, she smacked him in the face with her sudsy rag, leaving a dumbfounded expression on his soaked face. Star beamed.

"Why you…" Robin teased, reaching his hand into the bucket again. Star eeped as Robin flung more bubbles at her. They went back and forth like that for a while, giggling and smashing bubbles in each other's faces, until Robin's aim failed. His bubbles missed Starfire, flying past her to Raven, who had been trying to ignore the ruckus and continue working. They hit her on the temple, right next to her eye. The empath looked over at Starfire and Robin with black eyes, doing her best to snarl menacingly.

"Oops…" Robin muttered. "Sorry Raven, I didn't mean to, I –" Robin could not finish his sentence because just then, more bubbles landed right in the middle of his face. Raven smirked in satisfaction, and lifted all of the sudsy water out of her bucket.

"Oh no. Raven, don't –"

Robin decided not to finish that sentence either. The giant mass of bubbles and water was coming straight at him and Star, and they ran. Raven followed them with her weapon of mass destruction. Every once and a while, Raven would dislodge a handful of bubbles from her hoard and fling it at one of her friends. Of course, Starfire was giggling the whole time, so she couldn't run. She bobbed up and down in the air as she and Robin tried to escape their bubbly fate, but eventually she bumped into Robin, who tried to regain his balance but couldn't because of the wet floor underneath him. They fell to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, and Raven, unable to stop at this point, barreled right into them, bursting her bubble barrier and sending a wave of bubbles and warm water all over the trio.

They sat there in a kind of stunned silence for a minute, blinking water out of their eyes and brushing the bubbles off of them. Robin chuckled as Star studied the rainbows swirling inside the bubbles on her hand and gave a startled jump when one popped. At that, the three glanced at each other silently, like, _what now?_

Raven broke the silence, "Well, the kitchen's clean."

It was true. When Raven's mass of bubbles had burst, it had coated the room in a shiny, wet coating of soap water. Starfire and Robin murmured agreement. "That was a... surprisingly efficient way of cleaning the room." Robin noted. Again, the other two nodded agreement.

"Now I suppose we must dry it up?" Starfire suggested after another minute of silence. Raven moaned. They got to it. This time, Star made sure that no bubbles fell on her friends' heads. When they were done, Robin said, "Woah."

Raven turned her head to see what Robin was talking about. She narrowed her eyes. "And now the room's all _sparkly. _Great." She left Robin and Star to stand staring at the clean wall, which probably hadn't been clean since they had built it.

After a minute or so, Robin left Starfire in her fascination over the wall and went to go dry off. The wall might be clean, but now Robin (and the others, for that matter) was soaked and uncomfortable. Especially his hands. He took off his gloves over the sink and wrung them out over the sink. He considered putting them back on afterwards, but decided against it. His hands still felt weird from wearing the wet gloves, and now that they were off, he realized how good it felt to have them off.

Raven, who had been next to Robin at the sink wringing out the towels, glanced over at Robin. She did a double take when she saw his hands. "Robin!" she said, her eyes wide, "What happened to your hands?"

TTTTT

**Mwahaha! I leave you hanging!**

**Hello again. It's been a while, I know. I had a serious case of writer's block, and a busy schedule on top of that. Finally managed to pull it together, though. I'll put up the next chapter soon-ish. Next week or so.**

**-Juli**


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